Are you ready to take the next important step in your relationship and move in with your partner? The anticipation of the moment when you get to share your living space with your loved one and enjoy all the perks of being together 24/7 (well, at least during the times you’re free from work and other responsibilities) should not be overshadowed by the possible arguments and changes in your relationship that will inevitably happen once you move in together.
However, if it wasn’t for the adjustments, the further development of your relationship, the mutual concessions both sides have to make and the level of responsibility and commitment involved in this step, moving in together wouldn’t be considered one of the life-changing milestones you and your significant other may reach.
The reasons behind couple’s decision to move in together often vary, determining the aspects of the issue the partners-to-be have to concentrate on during the pre-move discussion and the changes their relationship is expected to undergo after they start living together.
It’s quite obvious that sometimes people, who really want to try living in the same place, might not be ready to set up a joint bank account, spend all their time together or expect the other party to report about every single move of him/her. You discover a lot of partner’s personality features after you move in together. You also learn a bunch of new things about yourself, which you couldn’t even expect to show up before. And, obviously, you figure out if you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are a great fit for each other and whether you’re good to build a sturdy relationship/family in the long run.
But, whether you’ve decided to do it to improve your living situation and make the rent burden financially easier for you and your boyfriend/girlfriend or you’re doing it to test your connection and determine whether your mutual affection is able to grow into a happy lifelong relationship, you need to set realistic expectations (toward your ‘love life’ in particular). Acknowledge the struggles both you and your partner will have to go through during the first readjustment period, conduct a few preparations and have a couple of essential (and sometimes quite uncomfortable) conversations to ensure that it’s something you and your partner are equally willing to do, as well as arrange the process to make it as stress and conflict-free as possible.
The more opened about your daily routines, habits, finances, expectations about shared chores, free time preferences and the level of commitment you and your partner will be and the more joint effort and decision-making you will manage to put into this step, the more enjoyable the move-in will be.
So, here’s some advice on how to move in together without ruining your current relationship. Hope it will help you ensure a smooth and stress-free moving in experience.
10 tips to move in with your partner and not break up
- Determine if everyone is ready to move. Don’t push your partner into finalizing the decision if you can sense that he/she isn’t quite ready for such a huge step and don’t be scared to tell your significant other about your hesitations. If it’s not the right timing for one of you, it’s not the right timing for the whole couple.
- Be respectful of your partner’s habits and preferences. Don’t expect that the person you’re about to move in together with will completely change his personality and daily habits just because of this step.
Learn to love his/her flaws and be flexible, work on the daily things he/she doesn’t know how to do (like, doing laundry), share chores and respect each other’s tastes (including home décor). Otherwise, you’ll argue too much and turn your life together into an emotional hell. - Talk about the space you need as a couple. Most couples with no kids will gladly live in a one bedroom apartment, but others might want to have a spare bedroom to invite the guests over or to set up an office to have a quiet and comfortable room to work from home.
Maybe, your girlfriend wouldn’t like living in a single bathroom apartment with no double sink. Maybe, your boyfriend needs a bigger living room to have the place for his treadmill or something like that. Discuss your preferences and make sure to come to a compromise that meets your finances and satisfies everyone’s personal needs to the maximum extent. - The conversation about the finances. You’ll need to tell each other how much money you earn and what living expenses you may afford. After that, you’ll have to discuss the way of sharing financial responsibilities that will be the most appropriate for both of you once you move in together.
How you’re going to split monthly rent payment, utility bills, and groceries/home necessities expenses? Are you going to have a common budget/shared account for such things as food, cleaning supplies, TV, Internet, and other similar services? How are you going to cover incidental home maintenance expenses? Is 50/50 for everything fair in your situation? How you’re going to deal with those payments in case if someone decides to move out?
Those are the questions you need to ask each other and give the most honest answers to avoid unexpected financial problems and conflicts. - Make sure that the place and the neighborhood are chosen together. Again, find the compromise and take into consideration everyone’s wishes, opinions, and needs when choosing the place and the neighborhood.
Think about the location that would suit both of us in terms or fast and convenient commute to work, as well as general preferences about the area you and your boyfriend/girlfriend wouldn’t mind living in. For instance, if your partner is keen on working out, don’t underestimate the importance of finding the place close to the gym or a park he/she could go to for the morning runs. - Try to find the accommodation that has some ‘me’ space for you and your partner. That will keep you from fighting, as well as provide some space to take a break from each other and do your work or the things you’re interested in. Generally, healthy relationship will only benefit from plenty of ‘me-time’.
- Hire movers to avoid moving stress. Moving in together with your loved one is stressful enough. Find reliable expert movers in your local area on HireRush.com not to worry about tiring moving arrangements in addition to that. Leave your request here
- Don’t use this opportunity to get rid of the partner’s stuff you absolutely hate. Don’t try to throw away the items that are dear to your significant other’s heart even if you don’t like them. You wouldn’t like if he/she did that to you, would you?
- Pack wisely and talk about the items you’ll have to throw away and the items you’ll need to buy for the new apartment/house together. Don’t take dupes for things, especially when it comes to bulky items and furniture.
Go through your stuff and pack for moving together. If you decide that some pieces of furniture aren’t worth bringing to your new apartment or if you need something new, go ahead and buy that in advance to get those things delivered straight to your new home shortly after you move in. - Get serious sharing house chores. When the couple first moves in together, the partners are excited to please each other. But, as the time goes by, the issue of sharing chores and doing those together turns into a vital one for your relationship.
Thus, it’s better to divide the chores equally at the very beginning of your cohabitation to make sure that no one feels like he/she is doing all the housework alone. It’s not fair, is it? Maybe, someone likes cooking but hates doing laundry. Maybe, your boyfriend doesn’t mind vacuuming, but can’t stand washing up.
